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Superceding Doja Cat’s “Say So”, and Olivia Rodrigo’s debut single “Driver’s License”, to name a few, Young’s “Messy” found itself soundtracking a plethora of lip-sync videos, established by Kylie Jenner. Unlike other tracks adopted by influencers, “Messy” found its success almost immediately, being picked up the same year it was released – unlike Chappell Roan’s “Pink Pony Club” (2020), which didn’t gain the traction and recognition it deserved until almost half a decade later.
Not just a break-out track, “Messy” also served itself up at the first tease for Young’s third record – This Wasn’t Meant For You Anyway. Markedly her most mature release to date, tackling narratives such as self-worth (“Messy”), toxic relationships (“Wish You Were Dead”) and mental health struggles (“Intrusive Thoughts”) – yet, This Wasn’t Meant For You Anyway, offered only a glimpse of what was waiting in the thrilling instrumentation, and infectious choruses of I’m Only F**king Myself.
Where the precursor focussed more on relaying narratives of the people around her, I’m Only Fucking Myself, as the title suggests, turns inwards, with libations steeped in raw introspection and refreshing honesty. The album opens with sentiments of gratitude: a spoken word interlude expresses gratefulness for the simple, mundane aspects of existence – cows, green grass, and the good health of friends and family. What begins sweet and innocent (“how long will it take to walk a mile [interlude]), however, is swiftly relinquished. With I’m Only F**king Myself she’s taking control, assuming command over her own life and relationships - and completely unapologetically – “F__K EVERYONE” and “ur an absolute c word [interlude]” exemplify this faultlessly.
Young is also demonstrating lucidity in what she wants and expects from romantic interactions. With “One Thing” she unashamedly admits she doesn’t necessarily yearn to be taken for dinner first (“Everybody wants to know ya / But me, I only want one thing”) – in perhaps her most overtly sexual cut to date (“And you're breakin' my back, you're so, so strong…Break your bed and then the sofa”). Contrasting this is “Post Sex Clarity”, where Young reflects on not wanting just a one-night stand (“please don’t ever let me let you go”) backed by delicate guitar strums that dominate the softer ballad.
Harking back to themes of addiction and self-sabotage found veined throughout her previous releases (“Six Feet Under” and “Annabel’s House”), “d3aler” and “Not Like That Anymore” sit as pairs thematically, but contrast in their sound. Where “d3aler” details the need to escape (“I wanna get away, far from here / Pack my bags, my drugs, and disappear”) and is sonically reminiscent of Amy Winehouse, the latter is more upbeat and euphoric in nature, and looks at recovery. Here, she’s not hindering herself with narcotics anymore (“I've been tryna quit the snowflake”), or toxic relationships (“I got a little kick out of declining your call), but instead struggling with financial barriers (“I'm locked out, got nowhere to go / And my phone got stolen and my balance is low”) . But she’s looking at the bridge side – at least she’s “fucking [herself], but not like that anymore”.
With her fourth studio record, Lola Young has created a tapestry of conflicting narratives delicately intertwined. From urging for one-night stands, before quickly U-turning, and then wanting to forget the world, I’m Only F**king Myself is a rich, expansive offering – and she’s not letting anyone sabotage that for her.
English (US) · 